A quick check-in you can do in a minute, a deeper read once a month, and a journal to put words to it. All of it is built from your own honest answers, and all of it adds up to one line you can read.
After trust breaks, your feelings swing. One kind word and you feel safe; one cold silence and you spiral. You honestly cannot tell if things are getting better. So instead of trusting the feeling, you measure it.
Instead of asking "do I feel better?", you score a few simple things, like how safe you feel, out of ten.
One score means little. Day after day, the scores draw a line, and a line cannot swing the way a feeling does.
If the line is climbing, things are getting better, even on a bad day. You read the direction over weeks, not the score today.
Rate three things: Safety, Trust, Connection. First instinct, no agonizing. Skip a day whenever you need to.
A longer questionnaire takes the full picture across five things, so the slow-moving parts get caught too. The first one is your starting point.
When a number is not enough, the journal is there. Keep it private, or share it with people who get it.
These are the fast-moving signals between two people. Each answers a question your gut keeps asking.
Do I feel safe right now, in my body and in my mind. This is the floor everything else stands on. When safety is low, nothing else reads true, because a nervous system bracing for the next blow cannot tell warmth from threat.
You rate it honestly, not aspirationally. The point is to see the floor clearly, so you know what you are building on.
Can I rely on what they say and what they do. Trust breaks in an instant and returns in inches. It is built by consistency, the small ordinary moments where actions match words, repeated until the pattern is undeniable.
A single good day does not move it much. A run of them does. That is exactly what a daily mark is good at catching.
Do we still reach each other. The warmth, the laughter, the sense of being on the same side of the problem instead of across from each other. Safety and trust can hold while connection quietly thins, so it gets its own line.
If you are healing on your own, connection is your link to yourself, the days you feel like a whole person again.
Trust is not one feeling, it is several moving at different speeds. Safety can return long before connection does. Connection can flicker back while trust is still flat. Collapse them into a single mood and you lose the signal in the noise.
Kept apart, the three lines show you where the work is paying off and where it is stuck. One can climb while another holds. A dip in one is information, not a verdict on the whole. The shape of all three over time is the truth your gut cannot hold on its own.
The daily three watch the relationship. The baseline takes the full picture across five dimensions, adding two slower signals, the body and the self. These move over months, so the baseline is how you catch them.
Can you exhale, lower your guard, feel safe in body and mind.
Do words and actions line up, can they be counted on, is faith returning.
Close, seen, wanted, and able to recover well after conflict.
The nervous system: replaying it, scanning for lies, reacting big to small things. Fewer of these reads as a rising line.
Your own ground: worth, sleep and focus, the ability to soothe yourself, and growth.
Every line is drawn so that up means better, even the hard ones, so a rough week shows as a small dip, never a red alarm. As the picture settles, it also names roughly where you are.
As the picture settles, the method shows a slow stage read, drawn from the way couples actually heal after betrayal. It is orientation, never a grade, and it is told to move slowly.
Betrayal is not symmetrical, so the instrument is not either. The five dimensions stay the same, but the wording rotates to fit the hand that holds it.
You rate the safety and trust you are receiving, and your own recovery. The questions never assume you are fine, and never assume the worst.
You rate the safety and trust you are providing, and your own steadiness in the work. The accountability side, made visible, so showing up adds up.
Repairing as a couple, you each keep your own private account and your own seat. You can link the two, then decide separately whether to share your trend. The shared view lays the two lines side by side, often the first time each truly sees the other's experience. Linking shares nothing on its own, and either of you can stop sharing or unlink at any time.
The method does not invent its own psychology. It adapts established theory and validated measures into plain, trauma-aware self-tracking. The core idea, brief honest self-report fed back to you over time, is itself an evidence-based practice.
Routinely measuring how you are doing and showing the result back is a recognized practice, the Outcome Rating Scale tradition. A feeling argues with you; a line does not.
Predictability, dependability, and faith, the three-component model of trust, return at different speeds. The Trust items climb that ladder.
Attachment theory and Emotionally Focused Therapy frame closeness as the felt answer to "are you there for me." Safety and Connection measure that.
Betrayal-trauma theory and the PTSD symptom clusters describe the replaying, scanning, and reactivity. Steadiness watches them fade, like a seismograph.
Posttraumatic growth research shows trauma can build real strength and a steadier sense of worth. The Self dimension reads that becoming.
The stage read draws on a well-studied affair-recovery model, where the work moves through atonement, attunement, and reattachment.
We adapt these sources rather than copy them, so the result is informed by the research, not a validated clinical scale. It gets sharper the way any good tool does, by watching how real people use it.
Some of this is hard to tell the people closest to you, especially while you are trying to repair. The journal is where you put it into words, for yourself, or for people who have been there.
Only you. Never shared, never indexed. Most writing lives here.
Shared under a pen name with members inside the app, never the open web.
With your consent, the most helpful pieces are curated into the public library, under a pen name or your own.
Each week brings a theme and a question to write to, so the blank page is never quite blank. The only ways to respond are a quiet "this helped me" and a supportive reply. There are no private messages, on purpose, which is part of what keeps the space safe.
When a piece truly helps people, it can travel from the community to the public library. It moves through four steps, each one a check on quality, safety, and care.
Members mark the entries that helped them. Helpfulness, not popularity, is the signal.
An automatic check flags crisis language, anyone real being named, or anything unsafe. A flag holds the piece; it never auto-publishes.
A human reviews the short, screened list and decides what is ready.
Nothing goes public without your explicit, per-entry consent. You choose the byline, and you can pull it back any time.
Lead with the slope over weeks; show today quietly.
A hard week gets a calm note, never an alarm.
A rating is an observation, not a judgment.
Every line climbs when things improve, even the hard ones.
A missed check-in is never scolded. A gap is data too.
If safety reads very low, it points you toward a real person, not more tracking.
Trust Rebuilt is a tracker and a journal, informed by research. It is not a clinic, not a diagnosis, and not a substitute for professional care. If you are in crisis or thinking about harming yourself, please reach out to a doctor, a therapist, or a local crisis line.